A Liberal and Conservative Discuss Socialism
Conservative: Obama is a Socialist.
Liberal: No, he’s not.
Conservative: Prove he ain’t.
Liberal: Prove he is.
Conservative: His pushing Socialized medicine.
Liberal: No, he’s not. His pushing health-care reform, which we really need because insurance companies are screwing us over.
Conservative: He wants to kill the old people.
Liberal: No, he doesn’t.
Conservative: Yes, he does.
Liberal: No, he doesn’t.
Conservative: Prove it.
Liberal: You prove it.
Conservative: Have you ever asked yourself ‘What if Obama is a Socialist?’
Liberal: Have you ever asked yourself ‘What if Santa Claus is a child rapist?’
Conservative: That’s stupid and un-American.
Liberal: My question is just as meaningless as your’s.
Conservative: But your question is offensive.
Liberal: So is your’s. That’s the point.
Conservative: How could you even ask such a horrible thing about a child loving individual?
Liberal: He’s Catholic.
Conservative: Oh, you are going straight to hell!
Liberal: Think about it. The original St. Nick was a Catholic priest who cared for small children. And Catholic priests are most often caught with their pants down in front of small boys, literally.
Conservative: That’s horrible.
Liberal: The point is that just because you can ask a ‘What if’ question does not make it legitimate.
Conservative: I was just asking you to think about what if Obama is a Socialist?
Liberal: And I’m saying that is a meaningless question. And I offer to you another meaningless question: What if Santa Claus is a child rapist?
Conservative: But that is offensive.
Liberal: So is your question. Anytime some uses a ‘what if’ question to indirectly allege somebody is something bad, it is offensive and wrong.
Conservative: I don’t understand. You’re just babbling. My point is that Obama might very well be a Socialist.
Liberal: And Santa Claus might very will be a child molester.
Conservative: Stop, saying that.
Liberal: Stop saying Obama is a Socialist.
Conservative: But what if he is?
Liberal: He could just as easily be a member of the Klu Klux Klan or some Neo-Nazi Party.
Conservative: Could not?
Liberal: Why not?
Conservative: He’s black.
Liberal: So what? He could be the first African American Klansman.
Conservative: That’s just stupid.
Liberal: So is your ‘what if’ question.
Conservative: You’re an idiot, Liberal Moron, Communist sympathizer.
Liberal: And you Conservatives always start the name calling when you lose a debate.
Conservative: Do not.
Liberal: Do so.
Conservative: I didn’t lose.
Liberal: Yes you did.
Conservative: Did not.
Liberal: Did so.
Conservative: I fucking won because I love America and you hate it.
Liberal: You hate America. You Nazi pig.
Conservative: Fuck you!
Liberal: No, Fuck you!
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